that awk moment when your dad comes down to visit (surprise!!!) and ur still recovering from a night of Debauchery…………
ok so it’s like 2am righT? well there is a guy in town and like we have A Thing and he’s been here since yesterday and i was supposed to mee tup with him (and his peen) tonight but the dude kept on like waitnig until later to like communicate with me (i am durunk btw) and at first i was actually just like “ok i will wait around nbd” and it’d been this whole back and forth thing blah blah
but 1:30am rolls around and i look at myself and think,
i don’t fucking wait on people. people wait on me. plus i have a kitten.
so i told him: listen, i think ur cute but i am tired. let’s do this for real next time, and if you’re not heading out early tomorrow, i would love to get a coffee and be mean to you in person. me and my pussy (my cat) are going to bed xx
and yoooooooo not even 5 min later i get the sweetest message yet
me at my highschool reunion
Me at my funeral